re realizations

ahhh to much shit goin on today-- womp womp.

but last night. lets jus say i had an epiphany. [baow]

anyways. idk. im past all that friend shit i was talkin bout two blogs ago.

like i had said b4 the actual post commenced.

THE CURSE OF EVE was on my uterus.. forcinggg hella mixed emotionsss anddd pissed off -ish ness.. lol

[dont fight my words or their endings] lol

but still

LAST NIGHT.

whilst chillin wit some homies, havin a session. we were talkin about.. idk what ever it was and during a part of it.. we had one of those moments where somebody says sooomee shit completely unrelatable andd they end there sentences and shit wit words like "ya kno"

and everybody looks around with tha shifty eye like.. DA FUCK YOU TALKIN BOUT BITCH???

then we commence to trip outt fa like 10 mins cause u obviously aint on tha same shit we on.

well fuck.

last night it was me. smh SMDH really.??!!! now i kno im slippin.

&& after i said whadeva it was i said.. i couldnt do shit but REFLECT.

like WHAT THA FUCK HAVE I BECOME. or ALLOWD MYSELF TO BECOME.???

fucckkk wha chu hearddd... miss solo still so official.

-- jus misguided??

like i had a pathhh... that leads through woods andd over mountains and blah blah anddd i peeped tha lights through tha trees and straight BUCKED on tha road. ..

it was enevitable.

at least i think.

idk.

i kno everybody talks about.. "IM SUCH A FREE SPIRIT AND BLAH BLAH but thats reallyme.

im at home on the road.. and bein lockdup or confined orrr immobile. kills me.

[insert smiley with death face]

but chea! basically this misguided methaphor of tha situation yesterday basically means

i feel like.. i took myself for granted tryna see wha all tha world has to offer.

does that make sense??

has to. cause i jus made sense out of it.

idk i jumped on the bandwagon fast.. not in a ol smut type sense but on some otha shit.

&& now, now that im old enought to DO what the fuck i want, LEGALLY.. besides drink.

[but really WHAT LAWS?? lol i mean chea. laws exist. im not completelly lost in tha facids of my mind]

but gawddd

---- back to tha point LOL.

now that im old enough to dooo shit. it seems trivial. at best. andd thenn i feel left behind in other shit. and yea yea. u shouldnt compare your life to others

i honestly dont condone it.

however I feel that I havent lived to my fullest potential. and that shit hurts.

[vicious cycle]

but i think i have a plan.